Maple Leafs Los... Win?

Three Stars:
1. Niklas Hagman (Hat trick!)
2. Tomas Kaberle (1 goal, 4 assists)
3. Scott Niedermayer (2 assists, 5 hits, +1)

Final Score:
Toronto Maple Leafs: 6 (Really?!!?)
Anaheim Ducks: 3

Goalie Stats
Jonas Gustavsson: SV: 25 SV%: .893 GA: 3
Jonas Hiller: SV: 40 SV%: .870 GA: 6

Recap Notes: The Toronto Maple Leafs decided to do the exact opposite of everything they have done up to this point in the season. They took 46 shots, scored on 5 of 11 power plays and only took 3 penalties themselves on route to their first victory of the season.

Someone on the Ducks is getting fired today for being the first team to lose to the Maple Leafs... and Anaheim wasn't even competitive. Jonas Hiller seemed soft and every defenseman not named Scott Neidermayer seemed disinterested in playing anything resembling hockey.

Kaberle's 5 points were a career high, as were Lee Stempniak's 4. Petteri Nokelainen, Bobby Ryan and Corey Perry scored for the cake eating Ducks.

Gustavsson looked good in his first game in 3 weeks and made a couple of ridiculous saves (high lights below). But Anaheim took 17 penalties and played some sloppy seconds hockey, Sean Avery style. It was like watching an AHL team against an NHL team... except that the Maple Leafs play like an AHL team as well.

Toronto was supposed to visit the Dallas Stars tomorrow, but Brian Burke announced the team will not play the remainder of the season so they can eat on a win "streak." Yes, 1 is a streak for the Maple Leafs.

Here's some highlights... including George Parros' epic mustache fighting Colton Orr.

Preview: Leafs Travel West to Lose in the Sun

Verses: Anaheim Mighty Ducks

Toronto Maple Leafs Record: 0-7-1 (Last in the Northeast/NHL)

Anaheim Ducks Record: 3-5-0 (Last in the Pacific)

Maple Leafs Record vs. Ducks Since 2005: 1-1-0-1

Maple Leafs Likely Goalie: Jonas Gustavsson

Ducks Likely Goalie: Jonas Hiller

Maple Leafs top scorer Niklas Hagman (3 goals, 5 points, -1) and Mike Komisarek (two goals... into his own net)

Ducks top scorer Corey Perry (4 goals, 9 points, -2)

Preview Notes: The Toronto Maple Leafs travel to sunny California to lose try for their first victory against the Anaheim Ducks.

The Ducks have been off to a much slower start than expected. Bobby Ryan is not producing even close to the pace he did last year and star center Ryan Getzlaf only has 1 goal on the season. Their defense has been a bit shaky and the penalty kill is the 5th worst in the NHL. They have been outscored 15-6 in their last 3 games.

Toronto's problems are well documented. The offense has been bad (NHL low 15 goals for), the defense has been bad (tied for second worst in the league with 35 goals against) and the goaltending has been bad (see: Vesa Toskala, Joey MacDonald).

In a potential bright spot rookie Jonas Gustavsson is expected to return to the net tonight. Gustavsson had been on the IR since October 6th with an injured groin. Playing in front of a historically bad defense, Gustavsson leads Leafs goalies with a 3.09 GAA and a .894 save percentage.

The way both teams are struggling this could get ugly fast. Have your barf bags ready.

Injury Report For Toronto, goalie Vesa Toskala made the trip but is not expected to dress (knee). Phil Kessel is still on the IR (shoulder, being a douche bag). MIke Van Ryn is out the reason of the season (knee).

For Anaheim, goalie J.S. Giguere tripped on his tears and re-aggravated a groin injury and will not play. Ryan Carter is on the IR (foot). Evgeny Artyukin is suspended for a slew-foot, but that idiot Ovechkin does the same thing and wipes his ass with a paltry fine. Awesome job NHL. Really. Vomit.

Bombay Out Coaches Julien, Bruins Lose

Fresh off their win against Team Iceland the Anaheim Might Ducks and Adam Banks ran wild against the NHL's Boston Bruins in a 6-1 victory.

The first period saw the Bruins effective shutting down the Ducks's "oreo line" consisting of Guy Germaine and brothers Jesse and Terry Hall. Marco Sturm managed to open the scoring for the Bruins, beating Greg Goldberg with a wicked slap shot to put Boston ahead 1-0 at the end of the first.

From the second period on, it was all Ducks. Matt Hunwick was sent to the box on an interference penalty after abusing Lester Averman. Shortly after Marco Sturm tried to out bash Fulton Reed and was sent to the box, giving the Mighty Ducks a five on three.

Fulton Reed made a nice pass to Charlie Conway who then used Zdeno Chara as a screen and beat Tim Thomas with a slap shot from the point.

The goal still left the Mighty Ducks with a five on four, and Charlie Conway soon capitalized again. Conway entered the zone and one, two, three, triple deked Tim Thomas for another power play goal a little over a minute later. Coach Bombay slowly nodded in approval, knowing that Charlie had finally mastered this unstoppable move.

Towards the tail end of the second Adam Banks suddenly appeared from the locker room and hit the ice. Banks was questionable before the game with an injured wrist. Tim Thomas and the sorry Boston Bruins defense was no match for the mighty Banks, as he easily scored putting the Ducks up 3-1. The period mercifully ended with the Anaheim Mighty Ducks flying high.

The third period saw the Boston Bruins come out flat, still unable to break through Anaheim's patented flying V. Russ Tyler piled onto the punishment, breaking out a knuckle puck that just hung in the air, but on this night Tim Thomas could not stop it while his team mates dove out of the way and the Ducks were up 4-1.

Speedster and playmaker Ken Wu danced into the zone six minutes later, doing a figure eight around the Bruins defense as Dean Portman fed him in front for yet another goal, making it 5-1. The hometown Boston crowd just looked stunned that an Asian player was in an NHL game.

With two minutes left in the game, Dean Portman got a penalty for wearing a bandana and the Boston Bruins were on the power play. However, with just under a minute left, Adam Banks deked the shit out of the entire Bruins roster and got the short-handed tally to put the Mighty Ducks up 6-1 and prove once again why all the scouts were there to see him.

In all honestly the Boston Bruins played one of the worst games I have ever seen and this game was not worthy of a serious recap. The Ducks dominated the Bruins from start to finish and the Bruins should be incredibly ashamed of themselves. Plus Gordon Bombay is one hell of a coach.