Sabres Do Less Coke than the Flyers, Win!

Three Stars:
1. Ryan Miller (29 saves)
2. Jeff Carter (1 goal, 1 assist)
3. Tyler Ennis (1 goal)

Final Score:
Buffalo Sabres: 3
Philadelphia Flyers: 2

Goalie Stats
Ryan Miller: SV: 29 SV%: .935 GA: 2
Ray Emery: SV: 22 SV%: .880 GA: 3

Recap Notes:
- Congrats to Tyler Ennis on his first NHL game/goal
- Buffalo's D is pretty awesome
- Ryan Miller is even better
- The Flyers should go fuck themselves
- But they are fairly good short handed
- Briere probably hurt his groin in the press conference
- Hopefully Vanek is catching fire... my fantasy team can't score

Preview: Sabres vs Flyers

Buffalo Sabres Record: 11-4-1

Philadelphia Flyers Record: 10-4-1

Sabres Record vs. Flyers Since 2005: 9-7-1

Sabres Likely Goalie: Ryan Miller

Flyers Likely Goalie: Ray Emery

Sabres Top Scorer: Thomas Vanek (5)

Flyers Top Scorer: Mike Richards (8)

Injury Report: Flyers have Grier out with a lower body injury. Ryan Parent is still nursing his groin and Ole-Kristian Tollefsen is concussed.

For Buffalo, Toni Lydman is probably going to still be out with groin problems.

Preview Notes: Well the Flyers must be feeling pretty good about themselves after wins in their past 5 games (one of which against Buffalo). The Sabres, who are in the process of starting a win streak themselves, will be looking to redeem themselves tonight. Special teams could be a factor tonight as Philly has the advantage in both PP and PK.

Ottawa...Gets...Annihilated

Three Stars:
1. Daniel Briere (2 goals)
2. Jeff Carter (2 assists)
3. James van Riemsdyk (1 goal)

Final Score:
Ottawa Senators: 1
Philidephia Flyers: 5

Goalie Stats
Pascal Leclaire: SV: 22 SV%: .815 GA: 5
Ray Emery: SV: 22 SV%: .957 GA: 1

Recap Notes:

- Emery gets vengeance.
- 13 minutes of penalties for the Sens...well, that's an improvement.
- 2 Power play goals against the Sens...sadly, that can be considered an improvement too.
- Chris Neil didn't get any penalties. Yeah, you heard me
- If Ottawa can't score on Emery, good luck against Lundqvist on Saturday. Although he didn't fair well tonight against the Thrashers.

Preview: Senators vs Flyers

Ottawa Senators Record: 8-5-2

Philadelphia Flyers Record: 9-4-1

Senators Record vs. Flyers Since 2005: 9-7

Senators Likely Goalie: Pascal Leclaire

Flyers Likely Goalie: Ray Emery

Senators Top Scorer: Daniel Alfredsson (6 goals, 18 points)

Flyers Top Scorer: Mike Richards (8 goals, 15 points, 4 goalie runs, awful captain)

Injury Report: Ottawa will not have the services of Anton Volchenkov (dislocated elbow)

Pennsylvania's second best NHL team will be without Simon Gagne (hernia), Ryan Parent (groin) and Ole-Kristian Tollefsen (concussion). Danny Briere (quad, flu) and Van Riemsdyk (pinky) are questionable.

Preview Notes: Ray Emery and his group of cheap shot artists and goons welcome his former team, the Ottawa Senators.

The Flyers are riding a 4 game win streak. I will admit that even though the Flyers are total douches, their offense is nuts. Ottawa could be in big trouble if they continue to play the way they have been.

The last time Ray Emery was in Ottawa he was crying about how much he sucked and left the team due to severe emotional problems. They say being in Philly has cured him, but when you look at the rest of the team Emery just looks better by comparison.

Ottawa has decided that Toronto shouldn't be the Canadian team with the most penalties as they have thrown discipline out the window lately. The Philly power play will be all over them like Bruce Boudreau is all over an all you can eat buffet. Brian Elliot is going to have to bring his A game.

Miller Looks Human, Flyers Win

Three Stars:
1. James Van Riemsdyk (1 goal)
2. Ian Laperriere (2 assists)
3. Chris Pronger (1 goal, 1 assist)

Final Score:
Philadelphia Flyers: 5
Buffalo Sabres: 2

Goalie Stats
Ray Emery: SV: 28 SV%: .933 GA: 2
Ryan Miller: SV: 32 SV%: .889 GA: 4

Recap Notes:
- You know its a bad day when Daniel Carcillo scores on you
- Also... call Ripley's... Carcillo didn't do anything incredibly stupid to cost his team a game!
- Ray Emery dropped the hooker's and cocaine long enough to have a decent outing
- Despite what Pierre McGuire tells you, Mike Richards must be one of the worst captains in the league
- Buffalo looked tired and out of sync all night
- Flyers have outscored opponents 17-5 on their three game win streak
- Only a matter of time before Bobby Clarke talks to the team about scoring too much and not taking enough dumb penalties.
- Sabres travel to Boston tonight to meet the offensively inept Bruins

Preview: Biters Visit Sabres

Buffalo Sabres Record: 9-2-1 (1st in the Northeast)

Philadelphia Flyers Record: 7-4-1 (4th in the Atlantic)

Sabres Record vs. Cryers Since 2005: 9-6-0-1

Sabres Likely Goalie: Ryan "The Beast" Miller

Crosby's Bitches Likely Goalie: Ray "Cocaine is a hell of a drug" Emery

Sabres Top Scorer: Tim Connolly (4 goals, 11 points)

Flyers Top Scorer: Mike Richards (8 goals, 15 points, boy lover, awful leader)

Injury Report: Mike Richards is questionable for the Flyers after taking a Pierre McGuire cum shot in the eye last night. Danny Briere and Ryan Parent are both most likely out with groin injuries (suffered while scissoring each other).

The Sabres will be without Andrej Sekera (sick), Toni Lydman and Patrick Lalime (both suffered groin injuries while trying to show the Flyers how to have sex with a girl)

Preview Notes: The Sabres welcome those idiot goons from Philadelphia tonight. Hopefully Ryan Miller pads his stats against these jokes.

It seems like half the Flyers roster is suffering from the flu. Guess they shouldn't hold those all guy make out parties after games.

The biggest challenge for the Flyers, other than staying out of the box for being complete and total idiots, will be actually getting pucks past Ryan Miller. Miller has been incredibly strong this season and hopefully will continue that against a team that wishes they were the Penguins.

The Sabres would be wise to stay out of the box themselves, as the Cryers do have a pretty decent power play. Look for Pierre McGuire on the Flyers bench while he massages Mike Richards' penis between shifts.

Bruins Can't Go Top Shelf, Loss to Flyers

Three Stars:
1. Ole-Kristian Tollefs
2. Darroll Powe
3. Derek Morris

Final Score:
Philadelphia Flyers: 4
Boston Bruins: 3

Goalie Stats
Cocaine Ray Emery: SV: 23 SV%: .885
Tuuka Rask: SV: 36 SV%: .923

Recap Notes: The Filthadelphia Flyers beat the Boston Bruins in a back and forth game that never should have even seen overtime.

Chris Pronger took a break from taking cheap shots long enough to beat Tuuka Rask with a slap shot to open the scoring. Bruins defender Derek Morris didn't want to be out done and soon after beat Ray Emery with an absolute laser of his own, tying the score and leaving Emery begging his dealer for a fix.

Boston went up 2-1 in the second on a Matt Hunwick goal, but then the Flyers scored two unanswered goals (Darroll Powe and Arron Asham) to put the Flyers up 3-2.

"Sniper" Steve Begin went back to work, scoring for the second time in two games to tie the score.

At different points in the game both Vladimir Sobotka and David Krejci made Ray Emery go to the ice way to early and had wide open nets up top... but decided it would be best to shoot the puck right into Emery's sprawled pads.

The third period was back and forth with both teams exchanging chances, and Boston call-up Trent Whitfield getting his ass kicked. Work on those fights buddy:



Late in the third the Bruins decided it would be a great idea to give Jeff Carter a shorthanded break away, but that wily Rask denied him like a woman denying Pierre McGuire to save the Bruins a point:



Nothing happened in the overtime period and they might as well have skipped it. Lets fast forward to the third round of the shootout. Neither team has scored. Claude Giroux puts on a clinic to put the Flyers up 1. Michael Ryder responds... beats Emery!!!.... the cruel sound of iron. Post. Game over.

Preview: Bruins Visit Flyers, Hopefully Leave Without Getting AIDS

Verses: Filthadelphia Flyers

Boston Bruins Record: 4-4-0 (3rd in the Northeast)

Philadelphia Flyers Record: 3-2-1 (4th in the Atlantic, but last in life)

Bruins Record vs. Flyers Since 2005: 8-5-3-0

Number of Players Bruins Players Have Bit: 0

Number of Players Flyers Players Have Bit: 1, and now Letang has hepatitis

Bruins Likely Goalie: Tim Thomas

Flyers Likely Goalie: Ray Emery if the cocaine wears off in time

Preview Notes: The Bruins travel to the joke of a city called Philadelphia, where the fans cheer louder for a hit than a goal, and where its okay to lose as long as you take cheap shots and bite your opponents.

The Flyers opened the season strong, but then came back down to earth. The saddest part is the Flyers actually have a good amount of talent, but play up to their fans desire for goonism.

The Bruins are a bit vulnerable without Lucic and possibly without Thornton. I would highlight the scorers here, but we all know Philly's game is just being cheap and then turtling when the opponent comes seeking revenge.

The Bruins D will need to be sharp, however, as Pierre McGuire's boyfriend Mike Richards and Jeff Carter have been hot to start the season. The new AHL call-ups did well after the first period last night, with Brad Marchand getting an assist in his first NHL game for the Bruins.

Ray Emery started the season great as well, but then decided to show everyone why the Ducks dominated Ottawa in the Cup finals with his lack luster play.

Expect a decent amount of scoring and a lot of scrums. Hopefully Chara catches Hartnell coming across the middle and ends his season.