Friday, October 16, 2009

Tampa Files Molestation Charges As Senators Roll


In a decisive victory, the Ottawa Senators defeated the Tampa Bay Lightning 7-1 last night, with a former Shark leading the way.

Milan Michalek, acquired from San Jose in the trade for Homicide Heatley, scored his first goal of the season last night. And his second. And his third. Then it was free hat night down on the ice!

Two of Michalek's goals were shorthanded. He was seen tea bagging Mike Smith and mumbling something about Smith being his bitch.

"He was flying, obviously, and he was able to find a lot of openings and he could have had a couple of more with some luck," Alfredsson said. "He's very dangerous with his speed."

Alex Kovalev, Alexandre Picard, Nick Foligno and Jarkko Ruutu, who recently gave Scott Hartnell lessons on how to bite an opponent, scored the other Ottawa goals. Ryan Malone had the Lightning's lone goal in a dismal effort.

As is customary in today's game, when a team gets down by a few on the score sheet and feels frustrated, the fists start flying.

In the second period Tampa's Matt Walker took on Chris Neil, and stood his ground against Mr. Neil:



Later in the second, Zenon Konopka, who's name sounds like a bullshit alien lord Scientologists would believe in, took on the Senators' Chris Phillips in a bout that really featured more wrestling than fighting:



Finally, in the third Steve Downie took on Matt Carkner and was promptly defeated:



The Ottawa Senators will battle the Montreal Canadiens tomorrow night.

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